If you are lucky enough to have a passion, you know the urge to follow it is part of your DNA. Creativity doesn’t depend on an audience, doesn’t wait for a reason… it is a non-negotiable part of being an artist. Tucked away in my studio, the sordid world of self-promotion feels a million miles away.

Some have a natural flair for marketing, hustle, whatever you call it. I try to embrace it, I really do, but most artists would rather scrape dried paint off a palette with their fingernails. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that we don’t love people, especially those wonderful people who find us, and value our efforts…

… it’s just, well, that bit about offering your ‘baby’ for sale. It takes one giant pair of Bravepants. In my dreams, a benign patron, consumed with love for my work, recommends me to their gushing friends. Beating off commissions with a shitty stick, I retreat to the studio to ‘make art’, which is universally adored and fought over.

Many artists use Open Call exhibitions as a way of getting their work seen by new audiences. Fundamentally, you offer your work to a panel of judges, who are curating a future exhibition. If it fits with their vision for the show, the work is included, exhibited publicly, and potentially sold. The exhibition can then be added to the Artist’s Bio (CV), which many collectors consider to be an indicator of whether your work is… um… worth it.

If your work is rejected, you sigh and move on without taking it personally. If it is accepted you smile and continue calmly with your next project. Not. The truth is it’s almost impossible to care about your work and remain neutral about the reaction, however much you like to think you are independently-minded.

Since failing to get into the RWA open exhibition in the 90s, it took me 25 years to recover and enter again. This year I have entered two open calls - one was rejected, but this self portrait was accepted into The Royal Portrait Society Annual Open Exhibition

When conceiving this painting. I was filled with the indignation of anticipated rejection, wanting anyone who passed judgement (let’s just call them “he who is without sin”) to feel my critical gaze. So the RP gazumped my righteous indignation with their open arms… now what?! Time for a rethink. I hope I’m old enough and ugly enough to pad up and enter some more Open Calls. Ask me again, after a few more rejections!